Swine Statement

I know there’re some misunderstandings out there about the influenza outbreak. Taking into account my privileged position, I’d like to formally clarify some elements:

  • It’s not true that at WHO we only get data from the epidemiologists and neglect CNN. We do watch it, and we’ve had good laughs with it.
  • It’s a pandemic but we still recommend to travel. We’re actually traveling a lot. If I didn’t have this particular sense of responsibility I’d personally travel as far as possible from the office.
  • I admit I’ve spent time thinking about the best way of translating influenza into Spanish. Influenza or gripe? Gripe or influenza?
  • The situation isn’t that serious; we just stay working in the office because it was part of the conspiracy agreement with the aliens.
  • I’ve also spent time verifying if swine influenza was gonna change its name due to religious or economic complains.
  • It’s categorically false to affirm that since the beginning of the outbreak we’re spending 100% of our time at the office. I’m taking two hours off this Saturday.
  • The WHO recommends eating pork. I particularly recommend it with fries and beer.

Thank you.


2 thoughts on “Swine Statement

  1. I know you are in the garlic on this. Just like Internal Affairs.

    It’s kind of suspicious that you go there and, all of a sudden, we get a pandemic…

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